Sunday Morning

There must be a law somewhere that states that, despite it being a Sunday morning, there is nothing to get up for, no work or anything, so you can have a long lie in bed and get up as late as you please, and yet something always conspires to force you out of bed and deal with something. AAAAARRGH! It is so frustrating! All I wanted was to stay asleep for a bit longer, but I ended up waking a lot earlier. Damn cat!

My cat seems to think that he is my unofficial alarm clock as he invariably wakes me as early as he can possibly get away with. His usual M.O was to arrive with a present for me which he would either dump alive on the floor and chase around after it for a few minutes before killing it. Noisily, with crunching bones and squelchy noise. Or he would have killed it before bringing it home and would dump it on the pillow next to my face. I would wake up to tiny lifeless eyes staring into mine, with a little trickle of something revolting running down my pillow. Lovely cat!

His current M.O., since I managed to convince him that presents could not buy my affection or my ability to open tins that could only belong to him – no one else in the house has any need for tins, obviously – is to jump on the bed, preferably after it has been raining. He then proceeds to rub his soggy wet bum in my face, or pat my nose with a wet muddy paw – claws out. If it hasn’t rained in the night then he digs in the mud first, prior to coming home. Or he waits for the morning dew to make his paws sufficiently wet to wake me. If he is in a good mood he will purr loudly and march on my shoulder, claws at the ready again. If not, then he will just pester me more and more aggressively until I get up to feed him. You would think, with all the bodies I find on my doorstep every morning that he would be stuffed to the gills already!

Once he has been fed he has a jolly good wash, then he sticks his nose in the air, avoids all contact with his well-trained human, and stalks off out to see what the day has got for him – usually a lovely long sleep under the nearest bush, to make up for the early morning start. So yet again, I did not get an extra hour or so of some much-needed sleep. Instead, I got an earlier than usual wake-up call and another soggy and muddy pillow case to wash. Bless him!



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